Psalm 39: Agony & Irony—I Was Silent...Then I Spoke!

I said, “I will guard my ways,
    that I may not sin with my tongue;
I will guard my mouth with a muzzle,
    so long as the wicked are in my presence.”
I was mute and silent;
    I held my peace to no avail,
and my distress grew worse.
    My heart became hot within me.
As I mused, the fire burned;
    then I spoke with my tongue... (v.1-3)

As I read these lines of ancient poetry, I find they resonate strongly with my life experience. How many times have we been around "the wicked" and tried not to either defend ourselves against their taunts or tell them exactly what we think is wrong? 

In our hearts, we know that unfiltered venting rarely leads to a positive relational outcome (even though there may be a temporary sense of personal relief), so mature believers don't make a practice of public venting. King David’s son, Solomon, would write repeatedly to this effect,

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts,
    but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Prov. 12:18)

And,

A soft answer turns away wrath,

    but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Prov. 15:1)

And also,

The beginning of strife is like letting out water,
    so quit before the quarrel breaks out. (Prov. 17:14)

Sadly, despite such instruction, there are some who make no effort at all to restrain their words (Prov. 18:1). As I have written previously, our technology further enables and even incites such rantings. But for those who, like the psalmist, really don’t want to sin with their speech—be it spoken or written—the struggle is real!

Sometimes we just know that we are right and those attacking us are wrong and, over time,  because of this we feel that we need to set them straight once and for all! 

Thankfully, that is not how God has dealt with us. His patience is mercy, and his kindness is grace, leading us to repentance (Rom. 2:4).

Verses 1-3 evidence the growing agony of the psalmist as he struggles to keep from letting the pressurized words of his soul spill out on the wicked. Hear these lines spoken one by one, through the lips of one struggling with pain and injustice, and feel the tension as the heat within him reached the boiling point,

Photo by Sebastien Gabriel on Unsplash

I held my peace to no avail…

and my distress grew worse…

My heart became hot within me…

As I mused, the fire burned…

Then I spoke with my tongue…

Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

Yes! Finally!

Now the psalmist is either going to destroy the arguments of the foolish and vindicate himself and his trust in the Lord, or he is going to speak a badly needed prophetic-style condemnation over the lives of the wicked!

As engaged readers, the psalmist’s articulation of his struggle sucks us into his situation and we ache to hear his long-restrained words justify our own verbal venting as they crush the wicked opposition by whatever name we choose to call them (who are the “others” you name most often in your own heated internal musings?).

But, there is a sudden and ironic plot twist in verse four. It happens so fast, and so completely, that we almost end up needing a neck brace! When the psalmist's super-heated words escape his lips, he speaks a prayer,

Photo by Rod Long on Unsplash

   “O Lord, make me know my end

      and what is the measure of my days;

      let me know how fleeting I am! (v.4)

Instead of defending himself, or speaking imprecations upon his tormentors, the psalmist talked to God. Instead of pointing out the error of the wicked, he asked God to show him his own. Lord, have mercy!

David was not in the habit of defending himself. Even on occasions such as when those around him wanted to put a justified end to the verbal abuse of Shimei in 2 Sam. 16, he refused to do so. He was humbly open to the possibility that God might have sent Shimei and was willing to withhold judgment (2 Sam. 16:10-11). Here, in Psalm 39:8-9, he says something similar,

Deliver me from all my transgressions.
    Do not make me the scorn of the fool!
I am mute; I do not open my mouth,
    for it is you who have done it.

It is stunning that the psalmist struggled to keep silent and not speak in the presence of the wicked until he could no longer contain himself. When he did speak it was not primarily to rebuke others as much as to remind himself that he was not God but rather a very temporary and flawed human being. As such he also knew what was coming and asked God to forgive his trespasses. He was not waiting for the other to finally get things right but was putting his hope in the Lord (v.7)

Photo by Moira Dillon on Unsplash

It is when I forget that I am mortal, that my time here is quickly vanishing, that I tend to stray from the Lord. Perhaps it is the same for you. When we forget the blessing of heaven, we seek temporary pleasure on earth often at the expense of others. There is something both liberating and missionally focusing when we live in light of our own mortality. The psalmist’s prayer expresses his desire to live in the constant awareness of how fleeting this life is and makes a prayerful effort to prepare for the life to come. He concluded this psalm with another prayer for mercy and forgiveness, rising out of a profound sense of his own approaching death. 

Hear my prayer, O Lord,
    and give ear to my cry;
    hold not your peace at my tears!
For I am a sojourner with you,
    a guest, like all my fathers. (v.12)

Photo iStock Images

There is something about living with the acute awareness that we could enter into eternity at any moment that helps us show mercy to others for we know our own need for it as well. 

Psalm 39, through the agony and irony of the psalmist's experience, reminds us that we are not God, but thankfully we can be honest with the One who lives forever and ever (See Hebrews 7:25)! 

So in this season, if we encounter those who want to accuse us, or engage in “foolish, ignorant controversies,” let us not focus so much on silence and self-control as on speaking honestly to God asking for his perspective, and allowing him to draw us close

As pastors and Christian leaders, we should learn to count our days as few and fleeting and trust wholly in the mercy of Christ who allows us to participate in his mission of reconciliation. And to that end “may we not sin with our tongue.” 

Who knew that a sense of mortality could be a source of gratitude for all concerned?