Psalm 39: Agony & Irony—I Was Silent...Then I Spoke!

I said, “I will guard my ways,
    that I may not sin with my tongue;
I will guard my mouth with a muzzle,
    so long as the wicked are in my presence.”
I was mute and silent;
    I held my peace to no avail,
and my distress grew worse.
    My heart became hot within me.
As I mused, the fire burned;
    then I spoke with my tongue... (v.1-3)

As I read these lines of ancient poetry, I find they resonate strongly with my life experience. How many times have we been around "the wicked" and tried not to either defend ourselves against their taunts or tell them exactly what we think is wrong? 

In our hearts, we know that unfiltered venting rarely leads to a positive relational outcome (even though there may be a temporary sense of personal relief), so mature believers don't make a practice of public venting. King David’s son, Solomon, would write repeatedly to this effect,

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts,
    but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Prov. 12:18)

And,

A soft answer turns away wrath,

    but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Prov. 15:1)

And also,

The beginning of strife is like letting out water,
    so quit before the quarrel breaks out. (Prov. 17:14)

Sadly, despite such instruction, there are some who make no effort at all to restrain their words (Prov. 18:1). As I have written previously, our technology further enables and even incites such rantings. But for those who, like the psalmist, really don’t want to sin with their speech—be it spoken or written—the struggle is real!

Sometimes we just know that we are right and those attacking us are wrong and, over time,  because of this we feel that we need to set them straight once and for all! 

Thankfully, that is not how God has dealt with us. His patience is mercy, and his kindness is grace, leading us to repentance (Rom. 2:4).

Verses 1-3 evidence the growing agony of the psalmist as he struggles to keep from letting the pressurized words of his soul spill out on the wicked. Hear these lines spoken one by one, through the lips of one struggling with pain and injustice, and feel the tension as the heat within him reached the boiling point,

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I held my peace to no avail…

and my distress grew worse…

My heart became hot within me…

As I mused, the fire burned…

Then I spoke with my tongue…

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Yes! Finally!

Now the psalmist is either going to destroy the arguments of the foolish and vindicate himself and his trust in the Lord, or he is going to speak a badly needed prophetic-style condemnation over the lives of the wicked!

As engaged readers, the psalmist’s articulation of his struggle sucks us into his situation and we ache to hear his long-restrained words justify our own verbal venting as they crush the wicked opposition by whatever name we choose to call them (who are the “others” you name most often in your own heated internal musings?).

But, there is a sudden and ironic plot twist in verse four. It happens so fast, and so completely, that we almost end up needing a neck brace! When the psalmist's super-heated words escape his lips, he speaks a prayer,

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   “O Lord, make me know my end

      and what is the measure of my days;

      let me know how fleeting I am! (v.4)

Instead of defending himself, or speaking imprecations upon his tormentors, the psalmist talked to God. Instead of pointing out the error of the wicked, he asked God to show him his own. Lord, have mercy!

David was not in the habit of defending himself. Even on occasions such as when those around him wanted to put a justified end to the verbal abuse of Shimei in 2 Sam. 16, he refused to do so. He was humbly open to the possibility that God might have sent Shimei and was willing to withhold judgment (2 Sam. 16:10-11). Here, in Psalm 39:8-9, he says something similar,

Deliver me from all my transgressions.
    Do not make me the scorn of the fool!
I am mute; I do not open my mouth,
    for it is you who have done it.

It is stunning that the psalmist struggled to keep silent and not speak in the presence of the wicked until he could no longer contain himself. When he did speak it was not primarily to rebuke others as much as to remind himself that he was not God but rather a very temporary and flawed human being. As such he also knew what was coming and asked God to forgive his trespasses. He was not waiting for the other to finally get things right but was putting his hope in the Lord (v.7)

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It is when I forget that I am mortal, that my time here is quickly vanishing, that I tend to stray from the Lord. Perhaps it is the same for you. When we forget the blessing of heaven, we seek temporary pleasure on earth often at the expense of others. There is something both liberating and missionally focusing when we live in light of our own mortality. The psalmist’s prayer expresses his desire to live in the constant awareness of how fleeting this life is and makes a prayerful effort to prepare for the life to come. He concluded this psalm with another prayer for mercy and forgiveness, rising out of a profound sense of his own approaching death. 

Hear my prayer, O Lord,
    and give ear to my cry;
    hold not your peace at my tears!
For I am a sojourner with you,
    a guest, like all my fathers. (v.12)

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There is something about living with the acute awareness that we could enter into eternity at any moment that helps us show mercy to others for we know our own need for it as well. 

Psalm 39, through the agony and irony of the psalmist's experience, reminds us that we are not God, but thankfully we can be honest with the One who lives forever and ever (See Hebrews 7:25)! 

So in this season, if we encounter those who want to accuse us, or engage in “foolish, ignorant controversies,” let us not focus so much on silence and self-control as on speaking honestly to God asking for his perspective, and allowing him to draw us close

As pastors and Christian leaders, we should learn to count our days as few and fleeting and trust wholly in the mercy of Christ who allows us to participate in his mission of reconciliation. And to that end “may we not sin with our tongue.” 

Who knew that a sense of mortality could be a source of gratitude for all concerned?

Psalm 38 We Don't Groan Alone

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Do not forsake me, O Lord!
    O my God, be not far from me!
Make haste to help me,
    O Lord, my salvation! (Psalm 38:21-22)

With what is the psalmist wrestling in Psalm 38? Was he crying out because of sickness, personal sin, and/or social isolation? There seem to be bits of all three woven together in this emotionally charged psalm.

What about us as readers, as disciples, and even as pastors and ministry leaders? What is it in our lives that brings us to the end of ourselves and prompts us to cry out to the Lord for deliverance? Is it something physical or emotional, something spiritual or relational? No matter what the cause, it is likely that this Psalm gives voice to at least part of our condition.

Bone-crushing Sickness Described

Some good Bible scholars, like Peter Craigie (WBC, Psalms 1-50), insightfully unpack the effects of prolonged sickness as the major theme of this psalm. The psalmist allows us to enter the depths of his physical condition in honest and emotional statements like these:

v. 3a There is no soundness in my flesh…
v. 3c There is no health in my bones…
v. 5a My wounds stink and fester…
v. 8a I am feeble and crushed…
v, 17 I am ready to fall… my pain is ever before me

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Certainly, the psalmist uses poetic language to describe his situation including a liberal dose of hyperbole (deliberate exaggeration for effect). Such use of hyperbole is not an indication that the psalmist is a “drama queen”, but rather that the psalm gives the reader a window into the deep pain and isolation felt by those with prolonged illnesses. Often there is an alienation that occurs with chronic illness as described in verse 11,

My friends and companions stand aloof from my plague,
    and my nearest kin stand far off.

Even those with the best of intentions can come to the end of their ability to stay engaged with those whose ailment/ issue/ suffering seems all-consuming. The psalmist may have faced such disappointment from his circle of family and friends.

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Then there are those who are quick the assign personal blame for those illnesses in an, “It’s your own fault” sort of way. With such a judgment comes its corollary, a self-justification that I/we are not suffering as you are because we are not guilty of such sins. Some suggest that it is our nature to begin to assign such circumstances to the wrath of God in punishment for our sins. Both conclusions are likely to be false.

If enduring such suffering despite the quitters and the critics with their hurtful comments was not bad enough, then there were those who were the psalmist’s enemies…the haters. Why do some people like to exploit the weaknesses of others like predators might cut down the weakest in the herd? The haters take advantage of the psalmist’s not being able to defend himself and pile on their accusations, plotting his destruction as described in verse 12,

Those who seek my life lay their snares;

    those who seek my hurt speak of ruin

    and meditate treachery all day long.

And, in verses 19-20,

But my foes are vigorous, they are mighty,
    and many are those who hate me wrongfully.
Those who render me evil for good
    accuse me because I follow after good.

The psalmist isn’t paranoid here, although chronic pain and a failed support group can lead one down that path. We know from David’s life that he had those who proved to be his enemies. Here he is specific about their behavior and their plans. They seem to be growing stronger while David’s strength melts away. Ironically, while those who should be expected to care for the psalmist “stand aloof” it is his enemies that had drawn near to hasten his demise. So, let me repeat the ironic situation—while the people the psalmist cared about had left him, the people who hated him came close taunting, plotting, and howling like human hyenas.

Heart-breaking Sin Confessed

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While we can gain much insight into the inner life of those facing prolonged illness through this psalm, I think that Craigie’s calling this a “sickness psalm” diminishes the psalm's very strong element of confession. The second theme in Psalm 38 is that of the psalmist’s confession of his sins. Much of his illness imagery may be a poetic description of how deeply his guilt has wounded him. He feels the poison of his sin at work in his whole being and expresses it in terms of severe and chronic physical conditions. This does not completely relegate the physical suffering he describes to merely a poetic expression for he may have physically experienced what he describes. While the psalmist’s perspective seems to make a direct connection between his personal sin and the dis-health of his body this does not mean that such is always the case. But for the psalmist, who knew all too well his own guilt, it certainly felt like he was rightly suffering for his foolish sinfulness.

There is no soundness in my flesh

    because of your indignation;

there is no health in my bones

    because of my sin.

For my iniquities have gone over my head;

    like a heavy burden, they are too heavy for me.

My wounds stink and fester

    because of my foolishness… (v.3-5)

Even more, the psalmist seems to know that he deserves even worse than he was getting and asked for mercy so that he might not feel the full burden of his sin.

Let me take a moment to stipulate that sin does anger God, but not necessarily for the reason that we might think. Sin does not anger God in either a curmudgeonly “get-off-my-lawn” or a vindictive "now-you're-going-to-pay" sort of way. Sin angers God because he wants us to fully experience his love, and his pervasive goodness, and to live in the holistic peace of an unbroken relationship with him and each other, but sin pushes all that away. Sin hurts us and wounds everyone around us. No good parent wants to see their children hurt and abused—neither does God. In fact, if God wasn’t angered at the sin of the world he would not be fully loving. Thankfully, the anger of God moves him to redeem and restore sinners, calling them back into a relationship with him. Jesus came to rescue us, not to destroy us...

“For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” (Luke 19:10)

“For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” (John 3:17)

Relational Isolation Hurts

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In any event, David’s illness/sin had brought a deep sense of isolation. On one hand, he was abandoned, or perhaps more strongly stated shunned, by those whom he loved. Illness and acute guilt have that effect on others. In David’s day, people would have withdrawn for several reasons. They would have wanted to avoid “catching” what he had while endeavoring to never fall into the same error that they might think he had committed. Still, others might have been exhausted by the long and seemingly hopeless illness (if it was an illness), or by his having gone beyond what was the culturally acceptable level from which rescue or deliverance might be expected. Finally, some "trolls" wanted to wag their tongues and their fingers in pointing out not only his sin but eagerly forecasting his certain destruction.

At some point, the psalmist stopped listening and responding to the unhelpful accusations as we see in v. 13-15,

But I am like a deaf man; I do not hear,

    like a mute man who does not open his mouth.

I have become like a man who does not hear,

    and in whose mouth are no rebukes.

But for you, O LORD, do I wait…

    it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer.

David was not interested in the negative things others might say about him. While his refusal to listen was not as provocative as the ‘90s “talk to the hand” statement, he was focused like a racehorse with blinders on to keep from being distracted. It helps to remember that he was not in denial of his faults, for this is a psalm filled with some powerfully self-aware confession, but he chose to turn down the volume of other voices, to cry out in faith, and to wait expectantly for the very-present Lord to answer and deliver!

So, amid our own seasons of pain and suffering—physical, or emotional/spiritual—to whom do we listen? Whom will we trust to plead our case and deliver us? The psalmist knew the answer and clung to it with tenacious faith.

Desperately Seeking Salvation

The third theme in Psalm 38 is that of the psalmist’s two-fold trust in the Lord—first, that God would hear his prayer, and second, that the covenant-keeping God would be his salvation! It is a powerful contrast that while friends and family may “stand aloof” and enemies will “stand against”, the Lord stands for us and enables us to stand secure in him. 

Even in pain and overwhelming circumstances, David wrote in honest faith,

I am feeble and crushed;
    I groan because of the tumult of my heart.

O Lord, all my longing is before you;
    my sighing is not hidden from you. (v. 8-9)

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Despite his intense suffering, he did not groan alone, for God heard and saw all his deepest longings and concerns, even those too deep and agonizing to be articulated!

The Christian life is no guarantee that we will be immune to pain, sickness, and criticism, nor does it instantly deliver us from our own foolishness and failures. What it does is give us constant access to an Advocate (1 John 2:1), a Great Physician (Matt. 9:35; Luke 9:6), and a loving God who will never stand aloof in our time of need (Heb. 13:5-6).

There are times when it seems that no one knows my inner struggles, the burdens I carry, or the complete desperation with which I am forced by circumstances and my own failures to lean on Jesus Christ. Yet, such a crucible of heart and mind is common among those in ministry roles. I am thankful for the testimony of Paul, who like the psalmist, relied on God to deliver no matter how hopeless the cause!

For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. (2 Corinthians 1:8-10)

Psalm 37: Fret Not Yourself

The following poem is based on an extended teaching from Psalm 37...

The wisdom of a Father heavenly

Sitting, sharing, such things we long to hear.

How to do this thing we call adulting?

Faithfulness, fruitfulness for the foreseeable future.

Envy, anger, wrath, 

Kindled byproducts of bitterness turned violent

Char the landscape still, as at the first,

Paradise lost in uncontrolled desire for more.

A fire that never says, “Enough.” (Pro. 30:16)

A Spiritual Smokey Bear, the psalmist instructs,

Kindle not yourself, but

Embrace the fact-fueled feelings of security

Found in trusting the Trustworthy One

Who enables us to dwell in the land

Delighting in the divine community

Whether circumstances change or not.

Feed on faithfulness, refusing to go astray

Not even one bite at a time.

Wait on the Lord, not your circumstances

Noticing, in refreshing moments of silence

Pervasive goodness of his presence.

Inoculating us against evil, ire alike

We move purposefully forward

Trusting the Lord for our inheritance

Speaking justice for others

Marking the blameless ones, not the calendar, as

Worthy of following to unending joy,

                                         © Greg K. Dueker